“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.”
We all get stressed, some of us react to stress more gracefully than others. I believe that everyone can improve the way they deal with stress. This article will provide you some ideas on how to help yourself handle stress differently. Eliminating Stress is a critical life-management skill that sadly most humans are lacking in.
Everyone has a certain point at which their stress starts to raise and they find themself in a stressed out predicament. When a minor situation causes a big reaction it is time to take a close look at learning new emotional management skills. Sometimes even a small issue can cause so much stress that it ruins the whole day. There are ways to avoid that type of response and manage your emotions and your time with greater control.
Eliminating stress responses is all about perspective. It is very important to make a choice to either react or not to react to any situation. Most of the time when stress develops it is due to something that has caught you off guard, or moved you out of your normal, peaceful place.
There are several things you must keep in mind, these are things that will not change, no matter the specific situation:
1. You can not please everyone all the time.
2. Some people enjoy creating issue for others, if you are dealing with that sort of person you must take extreme care of your own emotions.
3. Some people believe that in order to make themself feel good they must make someone else feel bad - it is a sliding scale for them and they must be above others. Which means they must put you below them in some direct way.
4. If you judge yourself harshly then you are your own worst critic.
When you or someone else wants to ruin your day it is usually going to happen. When you find yourself in a judgemental mood and that internal voice of criticism starts making judgemental statements you are heading into a situation with painful consequences. It is very important to know the difference between the thoughts of your true, loving self and the thoughts and statements of your judgemental, critical self which are always out of line. Do not buy into the things said by that judgemental self. You will learn to tame it, here on My Loving Self, but until it is tamed the best thing you can do is learn to ignore it. When it is acting up use the suggestions below to move yourself out of the mindset and back to your normal, peaceful mindset.
Many of us live around people who take pleasure in messing with other people. If this is you then you will need to keep the statements above in mind at all times. If people are trying to mess with you and they succeed it is really your fault, not theirs. Yes, they did the thing that upset you. However, You should be aware of their tenancy and be able to see it coming, at least after the first several times it has happened. You need to protect yourself from that kind of abuse. I happen to be an expert at that kind of abuse from having to live with family members who wanted to get me upset, and succeeded at it regularly. They messed up my day constantly until I decided to never react again. Then, after a while, they left me alone. But I had to run those four statements above through my head many times as they were ramping up their plots to get me riled up.
Usually when stress starts to build it means that something has gone wrong, or a situation has developed that was a surprise to you, or catches you outside of your control element. When that happens the first thing to do is to ask yourself a couple of questions:
Is this a big deal?
Is this something I need to be getting anxious and upset about?
Usually the answer to that is going to be no. However, we usually do not stop to ask those important questions and gather the facts before we react. Instead we just let the hormones and emotions of stress take over and the reaction to a very minor event can be the same as a fairly major event. Keep your head about you and you will be able to keep your emotions and reactions under control.
Make sure your perspective is correct. If you get a no answer to the above questions, then just move on. The event is not worth your time or energy, don't let it bother you. Start using the methods below if you can't step out of your reaction quickly.
If you determined that this event does not warrant your getting upset and that it is not a big deal then you should immediately begin the readjust back to normal. Do not spend any time or effort on the issue after you have realized that it is not worth any time or effort. Below is a list of suggestions to use to help you to change your mood and pull yourself back to your normal day.
Listen To Your Favorite Song/Music
Music is an emotional soother that works for almost everyone. Keep some of your favorite songs on a Stress Removal Playlist so that you can just go to them as soon as you realize that they are needed.
Dance and Sing
Who can be upset when they are dancing and singing? No one! If you are involved with your music and really feeling it, all the other stress will be gone very quickly. Make sure to include your favorite dancing and singing music in your Stress Removal Playlist.
Strike Up A Pleasant Conversation
Obviously that conversation should NOT be about whatever it is that caused you to get upset in the first place. Avoid whatever it is that is bothering you and just enjoy someone else's company. Tell some jokes or arrange to get lunch or dinner in the very near future, like the next couple of hours. Simply get your mind off of your situation by talking with someone else about something else.
Go For A Walk
Going for a nice walk outside is one of the best stress reducing tools available. It doesn't matter what the weather is, get outside and just BE. Be part of the environment and you will be forced to change your perspective. If it is warm enough and appropriate, take off your shoes and walk barefoot on a lawn. That is called Earthing and it helps you to connect with Mother Earth and helps you to feel your peaceful place. Walking barefoot is always a great stress eliminator.
Interact with Your Pet
You should take your dog on the walk just mentioned, you will both enjoy that, be sure to take a ball or toy along too. Who could stay stressed when throwing a ball and having fun with a dog?
Practice Yoga or Exercise
Whatever you are used to doing, do it. Your usual practice will almost instantly put you into the mindset that you are usually in while you do your normal exercise. That by the way, should be a gentle, peaceful mindset. If it isn't then you need to work on adjusting how you think while performing your exercise routine in order to bring it around to be a peaceful mindset in the near future.
Eat A Carbohydrate
This of course does not mean that you should eat a lot, and many people use eating to relieve stress to a very negative effect. But, if you manage it correctly and just have a small amount of food your body will naturally change how it is feeling. Any carbohydrate will act as though it is sugar and will stimulate the systems of your body to react like it had consumed sugar. So eating an apple or any fruit would give you an even better reaction than eating candy. Having healthy snack foods available to get a couple of quick bites as stress kicks in will help you to manage its effects more quickly.
The most important thing is to know that you are not a stressed out person, that is not the real you. You deserve to be happy and calm. You may not be a happy, calm peaceful person regularly now, but it is something that you can achieve. It takes dedication to that cause, and remembering the things in this article. After you have practiced this for a while you will see a different you reacting to potential stress.
Also, those who have taken pleasure from getting you riled up with soon see that you are no fun to get railed any longer, and they will move on to other victims. Hopefully, you will be able to pass along your new found stress elimination methods to the new victims so that they too can benefit.
By learning to manage stress you are learning to live a more happy life regularly. You are learning to respect and love yourself because you are managing your life, instead of allowing outside events to throw curve balls at you. Find what works for you, and remember that it starts by asking yourself if any reaction is really warranted. Most people react, then look back and wonder why. If you skip the reaction in the first place you are way ahead of the game.
by Wendy Mae, Ph.D.
Academy of Spirit
The author of all blog posts on this page is Wendy Mae, Ph.D.
Academy of Spirit
PO Box 82854
Kenmore, WA 98028 USA
AcademyofSpirit (at) gmail.com
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