Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself,
Putting yourself first does not mean that you are going to ignore all your responsibilities and let you family go hungry while you sit in a bubble bath 16 hours a day reading a romance novel. No matter how good (or bad) that thought seems it is not going to work for anyone’s life. Putting yourself first means that you care about those you care for enough to care for yourself.
If you don’t take care of yourself you won’t have anything to give to your loved ones. If you allow yourself to get stressed and unhappy you will not feel good, and the people who depend on you will feel your stress and sadness even worse than you will. Unfortunately, most people think that they can cover up what they are feeling inside and no one else will know their truth, but that simply is not the way energy works. When anyone is stressed or not feeling normal it changes many things inside their body and it changes the energy that is felt by everyone around them.
Everyone has had an experience of walking into a room and feeling that something isn’t right, the energy feels off, different than you expected. That is feeling the energy of the environment. You may not know exactly what is off or why, but you certainly can tell that something is not right. Even newborn babies have the ability to read and understand this kind of energy. So there is no escaping others knowing what you are really feeling inside.
To keep yourself in a condition that you are able to care for those you love, without sending mixed messages of confusing energy you need to make sure that you are on the top of your list of those who get your attention. That means that each day you take some time, to make sure you feel cared for. That might mean that you enjoy a cup of coffee while listening to music and feeling good about yourself, it might be a nice shower or bath that makes you feel good, it might be taking some time to read a great book. But whatever it is it is serving you and your needs for feeling cared for, so that inside you feel complete, stable and have the desire to care for others.
Putting yourself first means that you take time for you, a reasonable amount of time to nurture your own needs so that you have what it takes to be happy to be doing the things that others need you to do for them. For some busy moms that time may only be 15 – 20 minutes a day. But even in those few minutes you can do things that will make you a more happy mom to be around.
Some busy professionals say that they don’t have time to do things for themself, as they bark at a co-worker, and feel resentful, yet they take the time to do things that they feel are expected of them. Those are the people who are often making decisions based on trying to accomplish something professionally, they don't consider their personal needs. I've even heard people say things like: I'll take care of myself after I make my professional goals a reality. That type of attitude holds them back, instead of moves them forward. Changing the attitude to realize that taking care of their personal needs only takes a few minutes per day, and will result in them being a much more pleasant, joyful, enjoyable person who will climb the professional ladder faster.
In our modern society where we are busy with technology, cell phones and jobs that ask more from us than any human can do, we are a very stressed bunch of people. By realizing the stress levels you are under and making a few simple changes in your life and lifestyle you can change yourself and how you act and react; you and your family will be the grateful beneficiary of those thoughtful changes.
Here are some suggestions that will change your life:
Have technology rules in your home
No cell phones at dinner. Do not allow anyone to answer their phone while the family is sitting down at the table enjoying each others company each evening. If you can't do each evening, then make it as many days per week as is possible.
Limiting computer and internet use is also important, especially for those who are wasting time looking at a screen. Many people of all ages are using screens to avoid people and human interactions, which makes it difficult for them to interact with humans when it is required. Limit screen time so that there is more face-to-face time. If you don’t, there will be nothing in the future to hold your family relationship together, that would be very sad as everyone drifts apart due to too much screen time in the past and no true relationship to grow on.
Teach your kids to appreciate themselves
By teaching children to take self-care time at a young age it will help them to develop good habits for the rest of their life. It will also help you learn to appreciate yourself as you teach them. A bonus is that it will encourage the kids and your significant other to respect your much needed self-care time.
Make lists of self-care ideas for all family members
By making lists of both daily self-care ideas and more luxurious, not so often, ideas you will never be without something that you can do for yourself when the time becomes available. By sharing the lists with other family members it helps them to know what makes each other happy, it will encourage them to do nice things for each other and encouraging self-care among family members.
Don’t worry – Be Happy!
Yep, it is an overused saying, but the concept is extremely valuable. In order to feel that you want to take care of yourself you will need to be in a caring, happy, peaceful mood. When you are in that kind of mood and nurture yourself even more you will remain in that kind of mood. When all members of your family are in a happy, peaceful mood the household will be a nicer place to live. This concept is very important because no one gets anything useful out of doing something pleasant if they have a bad attitude. Hopefully, the attitude will change while they do that something pleasant, that is the plan, but it is even better if the attitude changes before they do it.
Keep happy, peaceful people around you
When you are in a great mood and someone comes into that environment who is miserable it brings everyone down, it is that energy thing again. It is impossible to stay completely happy and peaceful all the time, but if an effort is made to align yourself and your family members with like-minded people everyone will benefit.
Value yourself, and teach others to value themself
How you see yourself shows other people how they are allowed to treat you as a person. If you feel unworthy, insecure, sad or anything negative other people will pick up on that negative energy and they will react to you in a manner according to that energy presentation. If you make sure that everyone knows that you are a happy, secure person who respects themself and does not want rude, judgemental comments around you, it won’t happen. You will probably have to tell others what you expect by demonstrating it and by acting the way you want to be treated, but soon, it will be what you experience in your relationships.
by Wendy Mae, Ph.D
Academy of Spirit
The author of all blog posts on this page is Wendy Mae, Ph.D.
Academy of Spirit
PO Box 82854
Kenmore, WA 98028 USA
AcademyofSpirit (at) gmail.com
must remove (at) and replace it with @