I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.
What is Self-Love?
Self-love is not about being arrogant, narcissistic or pompous as some people think. It is about respecting yourself and knowing that you are an important, valuable asset. An asset to yourself, your community, your family, the Universe.
Being an asset grows from there, from the family it grows to anyone you come into contact with, and anyone they contact and it continues to grow to become an asset for the Universe. It grows and grows once you understand that your positive, loving energy contribution is appreciated and experienced by many.
Treating yourself as a valuable asset is the first step in living a much happier life. When you treat yourself respectfully it changes how others react and interact with you, it will be a noticeable change quite quickly. Treating yourself in a loving, respectful way will change how other people treat you. Respectfully treating your-self leads to respectful treatment for everyone around you, which adds to the value of life for everyone around you. It very often leads to other people starting to treat themselves more respectfully and lovingly, simply by observing the changes within you. It not only affects you, but many people around you, so why not just do it? The cascading effect potential is enormous.
By being concerned about your own well-being you display something much different than society is used to seeing. I'm not talking about the snobby, I'm better than you attitude that we see regularly, that is not what we are talking about here. I'm talking about a feeling deep inside that simply says "I Am Valuable, I Have Worth." So often humans are running negative self-talk in their head, it beats them up over things that probably don't even exist, except in the mind of the person whose ego is saying it.
That negativity has an energy that it carries, and that negative energy moves out an touches everyone you come in contact with. The person standing next to you in line at the bank, the teller, the grocery store clerk, everyone will have a feeling of sadness when you have a negative energy about you. Then then have to potential to pass that negative energy along to the next person they see, and if it continues throughout the day, your negative self-talk and the energy started from it could have a negative effect on hundreds or even thousands of people, and they didn't even have to come in direct contact with you.
The same is true when you have a good, positive feeling about yourself. When you feel confident and know that you are a valuable asset to your world and especially your community. If you went out into your community each day with nothing in mind other than to spread cheer and goodwill. You could start a trend quite easily. You could get people to smile, to be pleasant to each other. To feel good about themselves. That truly IS being an asset to the community.
Self-love is valuing, respecting and caring for yourself so that you do not allow yourself to be disrespected, abused and mistreated by anyone, especially yourself. In addition, it is a way of viewing your strengths and weaknesses as a part of your special characteristics, and seeing yourself as a valuable asset to whatever you are doing. Self-Love is a lifestyle, not an individual action or reaction. The self-love lifestyle includes seeing all humans as you see yourself. You learn to not judge anyone, no matter what they are doing, because when you love yourself and humanity judgement of everyone just melts away. Self-love does not put yourself above anyone else, because you take everyone with you as you increase your personal point of view.
Self-love easily becomes unconditional love, but it must start within and about yourself, then, it grows outward from there.
The typical response to reading this material is: I'd love to be able to do that but it sounds very difficult to change who I am and what and how I think, and besides, I have no idea how to get started.
It doesn't have to be that difficult. Here are the main points that I teach my coaching clients.
1. Yes, it will take some time to succeed at this new lifestyle 100% of the time, but you must start out celebrating every tiny success every moment of every day.
2. Write down declaration statements about your new points-of-view. Things like:
I love and respect myself for who I am, what I do, how I look, and how I feel. I will not allow anyone, including myself devalue that in any way.
3. As you go through your days keep your declaration statement in mind and if you catch yourself with some negative self-talk or in anyway devaluing yourself, Stop It!, Then: Change Your Attitude, Change your Mind, Which means to create a thought or statement that is the opposite of whatever you had observed yourself saying or thinking, repeat that new statement to yourself a few times, until you can feel it as your truth.
4. If you find yourself judging someone else, Stop It! Every person deserves to be doing whatever they want to, no matter what, so long as it is not harming anyone or anything else. When you judge someone, make yourself stop, and then say to yourself: I Do Not Judge! over and over again.
Using these simple techniques you will be able to change how you address yourself and others. You will be able to become a positive asset in your own life and in the lives of your community, and will soon be affecting hundreds around you simply because your positive energy is out in the community making its rounds through the public. That is a very powerful tool to effect change in a community.
Now remember, we are not talking about someone who thinks they are better than others in any way. You can not have the attitude that because you are changing your attitude you are better than those who haven't, because that would be the same thing as saying I am cuter, or prettier than other, so I am better.
Self-Love is never a competition. You are not comparing yourself with anyone else. You are loving you for who you are, and how you choose to live. When you make it your mission to spread cheer, you will make a difference in lives that you will never know directly.
To get started on creating the self-love lifestyle in your life, watch the video below. The video is a meditation to help you learn to see yourself differently. Please bookmark this video and come back to it daily to hear the mediation to encourage your mindset change and increase self-love.
The YouTube video below is a meditation about self-love by Sarah Hall. She has a beautiful loving voice, her meditation will help you develop self-love techniques in your own life.
The author of all blog posts on this page is Wendy Mae, Ph.D.
Academy of Spirit
PO Box 82854
Kenmore, WA 98028 USA
AcademyofSpirit (at) gmail.com
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